lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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