My nipple is on Facebook.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize