ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize