just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize