every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
