I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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