The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize