Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
