I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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