You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
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I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
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My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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