I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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