I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
