Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
