Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize