peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize