There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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