so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
