no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
