Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize