You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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