Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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