So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
