i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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