got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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