so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize