so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize