but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
