dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
