It's Friday. Sex?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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