dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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