Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
