Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Pooping to opera.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
