dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
