question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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