i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
