covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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