I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
