it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
