wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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