Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
