My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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