hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
