Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
