As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
