Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
