The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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