I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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