I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
