he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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