are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
