I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
