More tranny stories later!
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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