if i can run in heels then i can drive
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize