just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Why can't burritos get me drunk
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
