so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
