Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
