Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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