Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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